Lady Bridgerton loves her daugther



I have seen a lot of people say that Violet doesn’t love Eloise as much as her other children and I wanted to address this because it is simply not true. This, I believe suffers from the same thing many unsaid emotional things in media do: surface viewing. Especially with season 3, I can see why people would say that Violet doesn’t love Eloise, or not as much as the others, but the truth is that I have to set aside every single below-the-surface emotional moment to understand it. Violet keeps pushing Eloise to find love, interact with other young ladies, find more lady-like pursuits, and in season 3 it’s almost as if she’s forgotten Eloise exists. But there is more to this.

Kind of working backward here, but season 3 is easier to explain. Violet has not forgotten about Eloise it is simply that she wishes to give her her space. Which she stated on the show when talking to Kate. In season 2 she spent all her time focusing on Eloise and finding her a husband. This insistence is what Violet believes drove Eloise outside society. She doesn’t want to mess up again by hovering over her still and is giving her space to try and find her own place in society. When talking about this with Kate, Violet also implies that if it seems necessary, she would step in.

In season 1 we don’t see much of Eloise and Violet, however in season 1 Eloise is more a side character and most of Violet’s focus is on Daphne as it’s implied and shown several times that to have a daughter in society is a difficult task for a mother.

In season 2, as mentioned, Violet spends a lot of time trying to help Eloise find a husband, despite Eloise’s protests of marriage. Violet also doesn’t seem to be interested in Eloise’s feminist thoughts.

First of all, a lady of the ton is to be married. It is clear that it is their job/porpuse. Eloise stands out strongly as someone who does not wish to marry. To basically everyone, it’s an uncomprehensive thought. No one, not Violet, not Penelope, nor anyone else would choose to remain unmarried like Eloise. And especially Violet, who keeps pushing love matches. She believes that if she could just help Eloise find love, she would change her mind and marry. Which is why she keeps trying to push Eloise to find a match.

Another angle is that Eloise really is a black sheep among the ton. Her liking for reading, her feminism are things not normal. Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story revealed that Violet when young was also smart and thought to have “too many thoughts”. However, the way Lady Ledger handled that was by constantly chastising, snapping at, and shutting Violet down. Violet basically grew up being taught that smarts was somehow wrong, and while she doesn’t believe it, and Eloise is at no point scorned for reading or thinking, Violet does not know how to handle Eloise. She doesn’t want to treat Eloise the way she was treated, but she doesn’t know how else to treat her, so she’s trying the next best thing: treating her like everyone else. Which of course isn’t right, Eloise is not like her siblings, but it’s the best Violet can do considering both her lack of an example of how to treat a smart woman and the ton just not really believing a smart woman exists.

Unfortunately, Violet’s best efforts end up being not enough, but that doesn’t mean they’re not there. Violet loves Eloise as much as the rest of her children and is trying to help her succeed and find love and happiness as much as the rest of her children. The effort is there and her love is shown in clear, tangible ways, like the line “The only thing that would disappoint me is seeing you starting to care what other people think That would not be you.” Deep down, Violet understands that all Eloise wants is to be free and be herself.

It is also worth noting, that Eloise can feel her mother’s love, which makes her belief that she is but a disappointment to her all the more painful.

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